I started going to therapy last year in the late summer/early fall, and I still don’t think I quite get it. I wish it were a more academic experience with little assignments to complete to help your mind and actions to take and you report back at your next session. It might sound ridiculous, but with all the thoughts circling around in my head, it’s amazing to me that the solutions for stability don’t come to me; that I need another objective perspective to point them out. So much of the time I end up feeling like I’m supposed to keep talking but I end up talking about things that aren’t on my list of topics for the session. Not that organic flow of conversation isn’t appealing or unproductive, but when you have real issues that need addressing it’s kind of important to stay on topic before moving on to tangents.
This is all on my mind since I went to therapy yesterday. Very recently I switched therapists thinking it was the right thing to do. I went with the new therapist because she came highly recommended by my psychiatrist and has a lot of experience working with bipolar patients. Her office is welcoming and I like her a lot. But yesterday, I left wishing I hadn’t changed. My previous therapist didn’t seem to have a lot of experience with bipolar patients, but she was recommended to me by my primary physician and we did manage to talk about the stuff that really needed to get sorted. The new therapist hasn’t been a total loss, I have found another effective coping mechanism with her help. She has me write a few sentences everyday about my experiences in a planner, no matter if I’m manic, stable, or depressed. With the old one, I only journaled in a notebook when I was depressed and my therapist thought it was a shame I only wrote while sad. Now, I go back and review my entries, when before I would simply write and forget.
I should probably give the new therapist some more time to get into a groove, but today I can’t help thinking that I should switch back. I’ve learned enough in therapy to know that I can be impulsive so I should really let this sit for a while before making any decisions. I have two weeks until my next session, so that should be plenty of time to mull this over more fully.